Thoughts on identity
Oliver made two comments recently that I associate with each other.
First, I was giving him a bath when he pointed to himself and asked 'What colour am I?'.
I was pretty surprised to hear this and didn't really know how to respond at first. I paused and said, a little awkwardly, 'You're Oliver-coloured!' and then 'Skin-coloured'.
After all, skin comes in all sorts of colours, right?
For the record, Oliver's background is European and Asian. Or white and Asian, if you prefer. I'm not sure that if Oliver had pointed to me and asked what colour I was, I would have said white, because I think I would prefer that he think of people in terms other than colours.
But I don't know how realistic that is.
A few days later, we were walking to a neighbourhood park after dinner. It was overcast and getting dark and Oliver pointed to three girls walking together some distance away on a street perpendicular to the one we were on. I was not wearing my glasses and could not see them clearly, but I had an impression - or made an assumption - that they were black. These girls were talking and laughing as they walked and Oliver asked me something about 'that brown one'.
Feeling that I was evading his question, I asked whether he was talking about someone wearing a brown piece of clothing. No, he replied, it was the face he was referring to. He asked why her face was brown and the only reply that came to mind was 'Well, people are all different colours, Oliver'.
I feel torn between wanting him to be colour-blind (as in not believing that appearance matters, much) and wanting him to be aware that some people will focus on issues of ethnicity, sometimes inappropriately.
Perhaps it's too early for that - maybe he's just noticing what he sees and not thinking about anyone's identity in group terms.
First, I was giving him a bath when he pointed to himself and asked 'What colour am I?'.
I was pretty surprised to hear this and didn't really know how to respond at first. I paused and said, a little awkwardly, 'You're Oliver-coloured!' and then 'Skin-coloured'.
After all, skin comes in all sorts of colours, right?
For the record, Oliver's background is European and Asian. Or white and Asian, if you prefer. I'm not sure that if Oliver had pointed to me and asked what colour I was, I would have said white, because I think I would prefer that he think of people in terms other than colours.
But I don't know how realistic that is.
A few days later, we were walking to a neighbourhood park after dinner. It was overcast and getting dark and Oliver pointed to three girls walking together some distance away on a street perpendicular to the one we were on. I was not wearing my glasses and could not see them clearly, but I had an impression - or made an assumption - that they were black. These girls were talking and laughing as they walked and Oliver asked me something about 'that brown one'.
Feeling that I was evading his question, I asked whether he was talking about someone wearing a brown piece of clothing. No, he replied, it was the face he was referring to. He asked why her face was brown and the only reply that came to mind was 'Well, people are all different colours, Oliver'.
I feel torn between wanting him to be colour-blind (as in not believing that appearance matters, much) and wanting him to be aware that some people will focus on issues of ethnicity, sometimes inappropriately.
Perhaps it's too early for that - maybe he's just noticing what he sees and not thinking about anyone's identity in group terms.
posted by Lawrence at
8:26 AM
1 Comments:
HI Larry, These discussions about skin color come up quite frequently in my kindergarten classes. I find that a very simple response works well. I explain that each person's skin is different, and all are shades of brown. We then explore the shades of brown crayons, the multiethnic pack works well. We take out hand lenses and look very closely at each other's skin, and again at the crayons. I also have some excellent books that discuss different skin, eyes, hair etc. I find that this is an ongoing discussion, and kids this age really need to figure things out by actually talking, and looking and comparing. I could send you some of the titles we use if you are interested. Love, Susi
By
Anonymous, at 6:13 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home